Things I have learned from living with my parents for the past few months. Keep in mind that I am 38 years old, and have been on my own since about 22, when I graduated college.

  1. Having an office in 1970s paneling will elicit comments from co-workers on Skype.
  2. The vintage colonial shutters are really annoying to let light in the room.
  3. 4:00PM is way too early to eat dinner, but apparently it is the perfect time for retirees.
  4. My mother believes that dyer sheets are evil, and I am still trying to get used to clothing that is always slightly stiff. And itchy.
  5. That is taking into account that I can do my own laundry. My mother keeps taking all of my dirty clothes before I can do a wash, so I appear to always be wearing the same clothes.
  6. I cannot also get them to realize that gluten is found in ALL pasta.
  7. My dog detests the dustmop. I don’t think he was ever confronted with one before, since I always just um. used the vacumn on the floor.
  8. The house phone is ALWAYS ringing. If confronted with a cell phone, the appropriate response is to apparently shout into the flipped out part. The house phone is the preferred method of communication.
  9. Since I own a computer, I know everything about them.
  10. My dog apparently is not fed enough. I feed him, then my father feeds him, and then my mother makes him gravy since he doesn’t appear to like his dog food. The dog has become a master manipulator of the situation, and now waits for the gravy train.
  11. Mail can’t be left on the mailbox for the postman to pick up, since it might blow away. You have to take it to a blue box. I’ve so been doing that wrong, but then again, I can’t remember when I last mailed anything.
  12. That I have really missed seeing them every day when I was living in Vermont.

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